Catfish (2010)

Catfish (PG-13) Review

"Fickle Fish Fry"

A group of filmmaker friends document the burgeoning love between main onscreen character and his new internet love/acquaintance.  Since this is a film, there must be some kind of hook, and be assured that there is.  The internet was aflame about this movie with much "This Happened To Me Too's!" being typed and hyped.  The movie itself is about as genuine as reality television, with many obvious "re-enactments" and the playboy filmmakers hogging screentime and mugging for the camera.  The central mystery and hook in Catfish is effective and certainly reflects our current social media culture and the negative impacts it can have on our lives.  But as true cinematic art, Catfish starts to reek by the end, a mean kind of smell that certainly made me lose my appetite.

4.5 Profile Pics out of 10 (MEDIOCRE)

Kick-Ass (2010)

Kick-Ass (R) - Review

"Hardcore Nerdcore"

Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake) helms this adaption of the indy comic book done by Mark Millar and John Romita Jr.  A slice of life and parody of the current state of Super Hero films, Kick-Ass is violently gory, childishly funny and rambunctious to an infectious degree.  It's the typical Super Hero origin story told through a rose colored filter of grim reality and cartoonish blood and guts.  Dave Lizewski is an average high schooler, an awkward comic book nerd with zero love life and even less smarts.  Instead of joining the varsity football team he dreams of becoming a real life super hero (named Kick Ass), saving damsels and beating bad guys to a pulp.  Attempting to fulfill his fantasy he instead gets dragged into a criminal underworld full of murders, drugs and thugs.  Often unexpected, many times morally ambiguous, Kick-Ass is entrainment for the masses and the film lover alike.  The British crime-film mood and look marries beautifully with the American Super hero trope, Millar's imaginative ideas about what a teenage superhero's gritty life might actually be like shines through all the gloss and ichor and curse words.  The cast does a fantastic job, even as out-of-control Nicolas Cage's character Big Daddy tries to distract the movie with an iffy Adam West impression complete with scenery chewing, but in cartoony context it all works.  The biggest hurdle for most will be rooting for an antihero 8 year old vigilante Hit Girl, murdering mobsters with extremely violent impunity.  Whether or not you can forgive that is a matter of taste, no-one can argue that Kick-Ass doesn't live up to its name.

It came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and luckily it was all out of gum.

8 Utility Belts out of 10 (GREAT)

The American (2010)

The American (R) - Review

"American't entertain"

Ironically Euro-styled thriller The American stars George Clooney, a Government Spook assassin who is tired of his assignment and life style.  Dispatched to a remote Italian village to await his final orders, Clooney begins to fall for a couple of femme fatales as he efficiently goes about his bloody business.  Tense, slow and unrefined, there really isn't much to recommend beyond the performances (and even those don't stand out).  The movie is more about showing rather than saying, but it really doesn't end up showing very much.  What the filmmakers are implying about America?  That's up for interpretation.

5.5 Silencers out of 10 (MEDIOCRE)

MacGruber (2010)

MacGruber (UR)

"Needs more Cowbell"

Every couple of years, someone in Hollywood tries to bring back the "Stupid Comedy", a movie that is dumb on purpose but with enough humor to work (Airplane being the most obvious example).  MacGruber is at heart a parody of 1980s TV staple MacGyver, with Will Forte (both the sketch and the actor are from Saturday Night Live) in the title role.  MacGruber is a DIYer, a Houdini with electronics and objects which allow him to escape from dangerous situations.  The twist is that he is a klutz and usually gets those around him killed in horrible ways due to his incompetence.  A couple laughs but a lot more cringes.  A good stupid film needs a strong funny lead, and Forte is ironically not up to the task, 90 minutes drag.  Another film that falls to the SNL curse (or is it now the status quo?)

4 Khaki Vests out of 10 (BAD)

The Losers (2010)

The Losers (PG-13)

"I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me"

Loveable gruff mercenaries betrayed by their handlers now want revenge.  No, its not the ATeam, its The Losers, a bmovie adaptation of the comic series of the same name.  Fun, sexy and underbudget... The Losers entertain as they hit every action movie cliche with some interesting characters and dumpster diving cinematics.  Jeffery Dean Morgan is convincing as the playboy hotshot Clay but popcorn enthusiasts need only apply.

6 Slow Mo Lingerie Shots out of 10 (GOOD)

Exit Through The Gift Shop (2010)

Exit Through The Gift Shop (R)

"Art for sale"

Very interesting "documentary" about street artists. About as post-modern as you can get in all ways, it was very entertaining and had alot to say about the nature of art itself.  I am glad there are people out there bucking the system like this (and profiting at the same time I suppose).

 7 Stencils out of 10 (GOOD)

The Social Network (2010)

The Social Network (PG-13)

"Omelette Analogies"

 Much like the internet it lambastes, it is kind of shallow, is engrossing and entertaining, has beautiful moments and exists due to the profit margins of ego centric nerds.  Iffy history and some bad CG mar an otherwise great flick.

7  Zuck Bucks out of 10 (GOOD)

Super (2010)

Super (R)

"The Office with Bloody Wrenches"

 A goofier, gorier, more realistic take on do it yourself SuperHeroes, an Indie KickAss for a more refined palate. Fans of the Office, Kevin Bacon, Pipe Wrench violence, Liv Tyler and Anime Tentacle pron take note: The Crimson Bolt is the real deal. "Shut Up Crime!"

Score:8 Animated Bunnies out of 10 (GREAT)

Expendables (2010)

Expendables (R)

"Turkey Jerky"

What’s not to love about gathering some aging action stars (and sub-stars), throwing them together in a movie just as an excuse to run around and blow stuff up? Turns out a lot, especially when half the movie is Stallone and Statham hamming it up in a buddy picture instead of the all-star romp it was sold as. Lundgren’s off the wall character was a high point for me in a movie full of lows. Some of the lowest include all the multiple cameos (Shwarz, Willis, Austin, Rourke etc.) that were cast only to have one or two lines and disappear to await the inevitable box office returns. The action itself is well directed and watchable but does nothing to elevate or polish the genre. While the story structure literally reads like “Part 1: action stars galore (who mostly sit around and talk) / Part 2: Forget all those guys we just introduced, Sly and Jason pal around for half an hour / Part 3: Ok, everyone get together and blow everything up.” The finale at least was mildly amusing (I never knew concrete was so explosive!) and almost reached that boiling point into true entertainment. However, due to choices by the filmmakers and Stallone, the movie ends up as just another lost opportunity. The title just makes it more ironic.

4 HGH Cocktails out of 10 (BAD)

Cave of Forgotten Dreams (2010)

Cave of Forgotten Dreams (G)

"Caveman of your dreams"

Herzog's 3d documentary about the ancient Cave drawings in France may be your only chance to almost see them in person since the cave is sealed off from the commercial world (and rightly so).  The quality and variety of the drawings is astonishing, the 3D does lend a hand in immersing you into the cave, and director Werner tries with lighting and music and sound to get you to experience them as our ancestors may have: primally.  Mix in a few humans whose own personalities border on the bizarre, and the result is fascinating, mesmerizing and a bit bewildering.

8 Bear Claws out of 10 (GREAT)

Insidious (2010)

Insidious (PG-13)

"Don't look back"

A strange meeting of Poltergeist and The Exorcist, this vaguely old school horror flick succeeds a bit more than it fails.  It can get under your skin if you let it, though the new age spin is the only thing fresh in this one.  At least the film makers haven't been typecast, as this is a radical departure from "Paranormal Event,"  except for the obvious plot twists.

5.5 Black Cats out of 10 (MEDIOCRE)

Toy Story 3 (2010)

Toy Story 3 (G)

"Third Time's the harm"

The franchise has always been a funny relate-able tale for kids and a smart parable about the threat of obsolescence for us adults. Unfortunately by not having anything new to say and no new ways to say it these movies themselves are now becoming obsolete. The Pixar charm and magic has mostly drained away, leaving us with sequelitis: rehashed jokes, plot lines, and surprisingly manipulative/downright cliche emotional cues. If it wasn't for moments like Chuckles the Clown or an ingenious use of a tortilla, I'd almost think this film has earned it's direct-to-dvd roots. Lucky for all involved (scriptwriters/artists/voice talent) just going through the motions still works (i.e. makes $$$), especially when your previous two films laid the groundwork for this world our plastic pals live in. I feel like the cranky old Prospector for saying it, but perhaps Pixar should permanently shelve this beloved series before they break it beyond repair and it ends up in a landfill of terrible movie sequels for an eternity.

6.5 Snakes in my Boot out of 10 (GOOD)

Submarine (2010)

Submarine (NR)

"Turn the lights down low"

Kubrikian in certain ways, a Welsh Rushmore perhaps? Cute, quirky, very colorful but not exactly original but hey, all 6 billion of us gotta come of age sometime right?  Good music and acting, recommended.
 

8 awkward youths out of 10 (GREAT)

Tabloid (2010)

Tabloid (R)

"Standing on Sleazy Street"

The film that proves the old saying "Fact is stranger than Fiction,"  Tabloid is filmmaker Errol Morris' (Fog of War) documentary about the scandals surrounding Joyce McKinney that were exploited by 1970s trash-journalism in the UK.  Morris allows McKinney to unwind and wax crazy about the sex-scandal that involved a Mormon boyfriend who then cried rape and kidnapping and shocked a continent.  The details are often whitewashed by McKinney (the lurid details are oft provided by the slimy Tabloid journalists and her former acquaintances, and the movie sets up the premise of which side should you believe without taking sides).  The wide eyed Joyce's past is shamefully revealed and repeatedly denied, but it is the strangeness of the human heart, from Mormon prudishness to dead pet cloning, that is the real star here.  An entertaining yet palpably sleazy tale, Tabloid jumps feet first into the pool of yellow journalism yet inevitably doesn't come out completely smelling like roses, despite how hard it tries to wash its hands clean.

6 Greasy British Tooth Smiles out of 10 (GOOD)

Tangled (2010)

Tangled (PG) - Review

"..web they weave"

Disney attempts to recapture the old Princess magic with Tangled, a retro-modern retelling of Rapunzel and her magical hair.  Strutting handsome rogues, damsels not quite in distress, intelligent horses and just a bit over the line evil stepmothers pack the candy colored scenery and mug for laughs, but the good 'ol Walt Disney touch is simply absent.  The music falls flat to these ears and has no panache (or reason to exist). The story is cobbled together and true to form deviates from the Grimm fairy tale for the sake of sales The art & animation tries to mimic Disney's acquisition Pixar in technique but achieves only a pale copy.  Disney simply proceeds to do what it excels at, making programming for the young and easily entertained, but they have done much much worse in the past.

5 What Can We Personify This Film? out of 10 (MEDIOCRE)

The Dead (2010)

The Dead (R) - Review

"Script is Dead on Arrival"

Low budgets, first time filmmakers, a decade of work to get it produced, The Dead is an imagining of the George Romero Rules styled zombies in Africa, seen through the eyes of a native Soldier and a blackops styled survivalist.  The continent has been lost to the zombie host, society has broken down and all there is left is to survive and save your loved ones.  It's a shallow thin plot that feels longer than its run time would suggest.  Slower than a corpse in a wheelchair, the movie simply throws up situations for the characters to fight through and does so again 10 minutes later, there is no narrative, there is almost no spoken dialogue.  The zombie effects are basic and unremarkable (probably most are done in post production far cheaper than applying makeup to the local African extras), the entire film looks like one long deleted scene from a movie with zgrade potential.  To be fair there are some moments of cinematographic beauty, though again to be fair any Africa-bound tourist with a modern DSLR could capture them equally well.  Then the rotten no-good ending happens and all you can think is that the zombies aren't the only soulless unimaginative cannibals present here and that perhaps the film makers have a future in Hollywood after all (or at least the SYFY Channel).

4.5 Bland Digital Gore FX out of 10 (MEDIOCRE)

The Secret World of Arrietty (2010)

The Secret World of Arrietty (PG)

"Small and in the walls"

A sick young man travels to his Aunt's country home to prepare for a surgery and finds a family of small thimble-sized people living under the floors in Studio Ghibli's adaptation of the beloved children's book The Borrowers that falls quite short of everyone's mark.

The animation is slow and robotic (often the case in non-Miyazaki films that try to repeat his art style), the plot is frustratingly uneventful.  The characters are monotone and bland, in many cases bewilderingly annoying.  The backgrounds and mattes are beautifully painted but sadly the movie and art style they are serving has almost nothing going for it, its all been done before yet better.  There was not a single piece of showpiece animation, no terrific action piece, no heartfelt moments of characterization.  Trope after trope with little humor and little action with a cute cat thrown in just to please the Ghibli-cult followers, Arrietty falls way short of the studio's best and instead simply cruises along on the weight of it's pedigree. And with a heroine as small and ineffectual as Arrietty, it doesn't add up to much.

4.5 The Littles Had a Better Song out of 10 (BAD)

How To Train Your Dragon (2010)

How To Train Your Dragon (PG)

"A boy and his Cat-dragon"

Dreamworks Animated features finally drop the amusing cartoonish antics and go for the heart (as so often their competitor Pixar is lauded for) in a loose adaptation of the children's series How to Train Your Dragon.

Hindered by typically inept marketing, HTTYD still finally boosted Dreamworks into being taken seriously and making wads of cash with an almost unknown property, an extremely rare occurrence in this cynical box office environment of "sequels and remakes."  The story of misunderstood Viking son Hiccup and his cat-like dragon "Toothless" resonated with audiences with its cuteness and variety.  There are goofy jokes and snide remarks, and low hanging narritive fruit such as "parents just don't understand" that today's youths might latch onto but this reviewer is tired of listening to.

But the art is beautiful, the emotions true, the animation top notch.  The art style has some hidden hiccups and the story some strange eccentricities (why do the Vikings adults all voiced by Scottish actors, yet their kids are all Americans?), but the vast majority of the film exceeds expectations of a DW animated flick.  Expanding the fun yet sparse source material into a giant world (much like they did with Shrek) works well; imparting pathos and a real sense of danger and humanity was genius.

HTTYDragon is a fantasy movie like they used to make pre-90s, with invention and risk taking (mixed with the ultracute just to take the curse off it).  It shows how a license, properly cultivated by caring artists and story tellers, can diverge and prosper artistaclly and not just pander to the kiddies,

8.5 Scots with Horns out of 10 (GREAT)

Faster (2010)

Faster (R) - Review

"Needs more Pussycat, Kill Kill"

The unnamed protagonist who is fresh out of prison chases down his brother's killers while being pursued by the law and some hired guns (sound familiar?)  This time Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and his puffy muscles get out of prison and go on a rampage in a black muscle car in this 1970s revenge rehash.  Every note and cliche of 70s gritty cinema is touched upon here, so much so its hard to decide whether its an homage or downright plagiarism.  Competent film with some strange anti-religious tones, Dwayne's good guy persona takes a backseat for once.

4.5 Gear Shifts out of 10 (MEDIOCRE)

The Illusionist (2010)

The Illusionist (PG) - Review

"Mime not?"

 Animation Sylvain Chomet's followup to "The Triplets of Belleville" may lose him a few fans but should gain him even more credit with the artistic crowd.  Seen as just a movie, it tells the tale of a magician who's vaudevillian act is slowly drying up like the same styled circuit.  The magician takes into his care a little girl, and together they attempt to survive in the big city.  Beautifully animated by hand, with gorgeous color work and with delicate audio work, The Illusionist is a marvel.  It is also quietly depressing and desperate, and those coming from "Triplets" may be in for a shock.  I found myself wondering why and what this project really was, and so doing some research I found out the film was in fact a lost manuscript by the great silent film clown Jacques Tati (think the French Charlie Chaplin).  It was to be Tati's last movie, and Chomet due to his love of the art, brought it to life one frame at a time.  Animation as an art form is the perfect medium to bring Tati's last story back to life, the dying art form of animation the perfect backdrop for the loss of a tradition like vaudeville.  A sad sweet tale told and made with a breaking heart, like Tati its time has come and gone.

7.5 Red Balloons out of 10 (GOOD)