Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Captain America: Civil War (PG-13)

"A House of M divided against itself cannot stand"

After surviving the Age of Ultron, Captain America must now find and keep his friend from being hunted down and killed as the rest of the world's bureaucracies are cracking down on unfettered Superheros  (aided by the one and only Iron Man) in the Russo brother's newest follow up in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

The Russo brothers proved themselves with CA:Winter Soldier.  That film had pure, clean action and lots of it, all seen through it's hero and his friends against a worldwide conspiracy that threatened the democracy and freedom they love.  Seeing these two movies back to back is a whiplash of culture shock.  Civil war instead has high instances of shaky cameras, action scenes that for all the world look unplanned and formed instead in the edit room, grandiose cameos from other parts of the MCU just to sell future films, and just an overall inability to focus on the narrative and draw the necessary lines in the dirt to justify it's own title.  These are the ying and yang of Captain America films.

First off the aesthetic and production design is fantastic, the fleetingness of the world hopping almost feels Bond-ish (though perhaps unneeded, almost like they were chasing tax credits and filming wherever was most glamorously least expensive).  New addition to the MCU Black Panther is not only wonderfully realized and portrayed, he looks cool and is a harbinger of good things to come from the FilmHouse of M.  The special effects are solid and features the Russo's return to the franchise after their strongest MCU film to date, so what could go wrong?

Mostly it's wrong in calling it a Captain America film, it's primarily an Ironman film, and slightly an Avengers film.  The return of Robert Downey Jr., his recruitment of the new Spider-man, his turn towards becoming a tool of the state are all allowed to overshadow Chris Evan's Captain's single-minded and strictly illegal devotion to a comrade come hell or high water.  It's the Ironman show, he gets the best lines, the most gravitas, he's the bigger star (which isn't shocking when you consider RDJr's Ironman first launched the MCU).  The movie feels motivated towards easy profits instead of cutting edge story. But the movie is called Captain America, and features this figure running around Europe breaking all manner of international laws which must be said would be somewhat against his character.  There is a prevailing sense of Marvel not being willing to paint either hero in a bad light, especially RDJr, and it is a sign of the MCU's possible slow descent into suit-funded mediocrity (or at least the slump they've had going, especially with large cast blockbusters).  It all leaves the center encounter, Cap vs Ironman, oddly empty and devoid of the passions needed to pull it off a Civil War.

Speaking of villain, the ones here are not only again wholly expendable, they are depressingly unmotivated and with master plan plot holes the size of Tony's ego.  And if this movie stops and makes you ask "why would he?" and "why doesn't he...?," then the whole house of cards about the purpose of this movie falls hard.  It becomes what some critics have described, an unmemorable cookie cutter "betcha can't wait to watch the next movies we make" money factory instead of the rock-solid best action movie that you could take your kid brother to go see, as American as apple pie and the stars and stripes.

6.5 Gi-Ant Man out of 10 (GOOD)

Ant-Man (2015)

Ant-Man (PG-13)

"Talk Loudly and carry a miniaturized stick"

Sneaking into the Marvel Cinematic Universe is one of it's smallest and underwhelming heroes as Ant-Man makes his unlikely screen debut.  Doubly so when it ran into production trouble as long-time project gestator Simon Wright (director/screenwriter of Shaun of the Dead, who gets writing credit here) left Marvel over creative differences.  However director Payton Reed (Bring it On) and the Marvel suits have made an entertaining sausage yet again, even if the ghost of "What If?" lingers off screen.

Paul Rudd (Fantana in Anchorman) pals around with Micheal Douglas as Ant-Man old and new.  He's an ex-con thief who is trying to go the straight and narrow for his 3yo daughters sake.  However he soon becomes embroiled in corporate espionage which somehow involves Douglas' Hank Pym (the original Ant-Man) and his daughter Hope aka Love Interest To Be Woman, aka Evangeline Lilly.  It's kind of Ironman light with more diverse comedy, the crew is out to stop Pym's old intern from selling Yellowjacket to the government, which would then use it to drone-strike everyone on the planet or something BigBusiness and Government are bad or whatever the kids on the internet are saying at this moment, hey they are our demographic right guys?  The interesting tidbit of Ant-Man being the first comic book movie to deal with a second iteration of a character, a comic book staple of a mentor training his protege to don and take over a super hero identity, isn't really focused on because hey, Rudd is pretty charming and the whole movie is kind of filler for the next MCU super blockbuster that he can then appear in, right?

The missed opportunities and nuance be damned, because Marvel once again just makes a fun movie to sit back and watch.  And hoooh boy, is this that type of movie.  Training montages?  Origin stories?  Nostalgic looks back and the Soviet Cold war?  Vaguely threatening slippery slope government types?  This movie encapsulates everything that worked in those other MCU movies and boils it down to it's audience-friendly most.  However it is the non-standard flairs that actually stand out and make Ant-Man fun.  When the plot goes away from all the white people problems and gets a little colorful the humor enters into it's own.  A fight early on with the Falcon is a diverse breath of fresh air (or is it?  Captain America would have been a stronger cameo but no where near as fun either) but Lang's crew of wacky ethnic sidekicks give the film a funny kick in the shorts that Rudd plays off of wonderfully.  When its Douglas' show all you can wonder is if the old Wolf of Wallstreet is just hoping his Pym stock price doesn't fall.  But the movie's humor shines when Luis gives Stan Lee his best cameo yet.  Added to that an exciting finale that takes too long to come (but since it involves a fight inside a crowded briefcase and on a Thomas the Train toy train set it's forgiven), and Ant-Man provides enough laughs and action to prevent 2 hours from crawling by.

The questions aren't all answered unfortunately.  Wright's version, would it have been more humor driven, more Scott Pilgrim-like and idiosyncratic than Scott Lang pathos and melodramatic?  What if Pym had invented Ultron instead of Stark like the comics foretold, it was just a couple months ago after all, would have a cameo in Avengers 2 been that hard (it would have at least provided more backstory and interest to both films, and Ant-Man was a founding Avenger after all)?  And why merrily skip by the science without even attempting to explain the gobbedygoop, its fraught with unspoken SciFi mcguffins?  How did this movie achieve the feat of making creepy crawly bugs cute sidekicks that aren't grossing every woman man and child out?  Why earn the PG13 with a lot of out of place cursing?  How long can MCU go without making a terrible film?  And how did one of the biggest inside jokes in comic-dom, the infamously unfamous Ant-Man, get his own blockbuster comic book film that kids and adults adore?  Let's see DC pull that off with The Atom.

7.5 Tales to Astonish out of 10 (GOOD)

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Avengers: Age of Ultron (PG-13)

"Got no strings, so whats holding it down?"

The heroically rag-tag team from past Marvel films are once again united against a single enemy, this time one accidentally created by their resident tech genius Tony Stark in Joss Whedon's middling follow-up to 2012's Avengers.

Beyond the changes to the convoluted characters from page to screen, the biggest grievances to be leveled at AAOU is the absolutely hackneyed writing.  Nearly every action moment comes with a quip of some kind, or a re-quip, or a quip about an earlier quip.  It really gets tedious and clunky, Whedon's flippant attitude towards tension really strains the credibility of whether or not anything is in peril.  Meanwhile, like most huge sequels, the CGI has become more prevalent and overloaded, while the color palette has been oddly drained.  Whole moments of action are obviously stitched together in the computer, but somehow still remain unclear, confused and jumpy.  Much is simply unsatisfying to watch.

This is in "stark" (haha) contrast to the original Avengers, where Whedon's writing and structure issues were eventually uplifted by an epic sized brawl in New York where every character had moments of heroicism and bravery, they gelled as a team against a living breathing maniac hell-bent on enslaving humanity.  In Age, Ultron is a smart-ass mega-robot voiced by James Spader (with a rather un-robot like attitude), who's evil motivations behind his evil plot are pretty much a shrug "cuz we said so" kind of thing.  Spader does lend something to the sinister yet somehow ambiguously malign character (perhaps too much), but his robot army are a rather lame foe and his CGI presence just feels weak.  At no time does Ultron seem a threat, and yet the new additions to the team do feel outmatched.  Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are introduced on Ultron's side (being X-Foe's Magneto's children and perpetual fence-sitters makes this an alright choice, even if Marvel can't utilize this part of the lore due to Fox's owning the X-Men licence), and yet are somehow easily able to defeat 90% of the team double-handed!  Then they are offered up as lame-duck sacrifices by movie's end, for the feels that just don't manifest.  Meanwhile Black Widow is irritating fan-boys to even more extremes.  Now her femininity and allure can calm down the Hulk because, shipping!!!, and she is now the Avengers den mother, ugh.  Now her ultimate spy-stealthiness includes a glowing outfit and matching glowsticks she does kung fu with (!?!?!) because... action figures sell?

Okay, so does anything save this film?  Unfortunately this movie is just a baby step for other MCU movies, and is more obvious about it than previous releases.  It is less satisfying within the Universe and on it's own than its predecessors, and we can hope that those films it (again) hints at as coming will actually deliver.  Despite being excited by mentions of Wakanda or the Vision's wasted potential, we already have been teased to death about the Infinity War and now we need Thor taking his shirt off and jumping in a lake to preview his next film (Ragnarock)?  The film is already overlong and underwhelmed with truly great moments, with an anemic amount of amusement and severe lack of immersion, the long runtime for these kind of inclusions could have really been reeled back.  As much as I enjoyed the Hulk's rampage or how insufferable Stark is becoming, those kind of moments are few and far between.

The invisible strings from the Disney Exec's indeed seem long.  The cult figure of Whedon and his fandom aren't immune to them, pulling this way and demanding that, ending up a puppet for mass-market appeal and humdrum committee decisions.  In a world where comic-book movies are now common place and people in capes are socially accepted the MCU has finally shown a chink in it's bright blue armor.

4.5 "The Internet?" "The Internet." out of 10 (MEDIOCRE)

Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014)

Guardians Of The Galaxy (PG-13)

"Hooked on a feeling"

The MCU dives into its funky cosmic side with a swaggering explosion filled romp that is as irreverent as it is irrelevant, raucously audacious enough to break its own molds and yet offering only simple lower class pleasures with a cast so utterly charming that audiences will have to shrug off any misgivings, even though they are watching a Marvel stepping stone to the great film that may someday come.

Chris Pratt's (The Lego Movie) patented brand of doe-eyed mischievousness fills the role of Star-Lord Peter Quill to the brim, creating a sensational addition to the archetype SciFi oversexed treasure-hunting rouge, overflowing with snarktastic bon mots and anachronisms from his departed Earthly mother's love of 70s pop music mixtapes  The rest of the crew is stocked with unusual weirdos-banding-together types; Bradley Cooper (The Hangover) is a CGI Space-Raccoon with a violent love of firearms, his close companion is a space tree voiced by Vin Diesel (Riddick) who can only utter the words "I am Groot", Drax the Destroyer is a musclebound straight-shooter without an ounce of irony played by former WWE champion Bautista, and the adopted daughter of the villainous Thanos (remember him from the Avengers post credit sequence?), the soon-to-be-girlfriended assassin Gamora played by Zoe Saldana (2009 Star Trek).

The runtime of GOTG entails the finding of a mysterious orb, infighting over the orb, having to escape from space prison with orb, try to sell the orb without pirate intrusion, having the orb stolen by the bad guy Ronan the Accuser who intends to blow up a planet with the orb only to have the Guardians try to guard against it.  It's really not Shakespeare or Asimov, but its filled with improvisational humor and rowdy fun that is greatly increased by a sunny musicality that overpowers the film's often brutally grim vibe.  GOTG's largest saving grace is that ragtag crew; their banter is naturalistic and wonderfully contains a solid dose of the PG13 bad words. It's the best SciFi spaceopera ship and it's crew since the original Star Wars 1977, but hold onto your space horses buckaroos.  Everything isn't all Attack Ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion, even if the open-shirted Han Solo swagger cons you into starry eyed distraction.

The action doesn't come through with much impact or heft, sad to say the fight scenes feel almost unrehearsed (that was attempted to be glossed over with CG that overall also wasn't of the highest grade).  The Collector (first seen in Thor 2) is once again played by the incomparable Benicio del Toro (Way of the Gun), whose over the top performance and alien mannerisms are sadly underused with little screen time, what there is is great stuff.  Same goes for the incredible casting of ensemble comedian John C. Reilly (Boogie Nights) as a Nova Corps officer who briefly gets a moment to shine.  Ok, so the film really just wants to point the lazer-spotlight on Quill and company (understandable), but meanwhile the cardboard villain Ronan gets almost zero backstory and so little motivation for his genocidal quest that he is one easily upped by the all-to-brief appearance of Thanos (who all Marvelites know to be the overall heavy in some faroff film that will be made...later).  There is just so much underused material from the Cosmic Marvel Universe (encompassing all the biggest and most creative stories from the books, especially those by Jim Starling), that to throw the audience into it without explanation is understandable yet still a shame.  While this is obviously a specific choice to avoid the morass of that insane big picture, completely leaving it unsaid leaves the film one of the lightest piece in the Marvel Film Puzzle.  There's nothing wrong with light entertainment, but those seeking even a little Space Odyssey in their Cosmos won't find any.

Still, without hesitation it is a very fun romp in a Galaxy far far away, the first real spiritual successor of the original Star Wars film married with the whimsical tone and aesthetic of the Original Star Trek palette (dayglo skin tones mixed with candy colored backgrounds).  They caught a special magic lightning in the bottle with this crew (except for overall blankness of Zoe's portrayal and role), but the adventure is a straightforward affair that offers almost nothing surprising (the spaceprison escape, for example, can be found in any number of pulp SciFi paperbacks rotting away in your brothers basement).  However the biggest detractor, for this critic, would be that in the overall series that comprises the entire MCU, Guardians can only be considered a filler or time killer episode.  Bereft of the the enormous Cosmic events that Marvel has been hinting at and fans have been slavering for, it onl teases yet again at the epic things to come (The Infinity Gems!).  This too is understandable, Disney/Marvel are biding their time and dreaming of the cash that Avengers 2 or 3 or 4 (or Thor3, The Defenders, WHEN???) will make, as opposed to betting on the noname also-run like GOTG. As admirable as it is for Marv and team to even consider releasing a Guardians film at all (it's source material is the stuff of bargain bins and heavy-nerd cult followings), the buildup for something REALLY big and overarching is over 6 years old now.  Perhaps this is expecting too much from a studio that has consistently overdelivered on almost all of their films (the boxoffice returns and lack of a critical bomb is supremely impressive in this day and age), but it is Marvel/Disney's fault if we are left wanting more, better and now, especially considering the stories are there, foreshadowed and ripe for the harvesting.  Instead we get baby steps, now we know there is another gem and Thanos wants them supposedly.

Director James Gunn (also of 2010s Super, a much unappreciated indy satire of the comicbook medium) cribs a plethora of shortcuts from SciFi Space Operas that have come before, but is sorely lacking in actual action direction experience.  The banter though, is sublime and works as well as any recent bro-comedy action film, like Channing/Hill except in space.  Gunn squeezes so much fun and humor onto the screen that the zipping lazers and spaceship dying fireballs are not what you leave the film with an impression of.  It is Pratt, dialing up his middle finger to his b-character typecasting, kicking up his heels with his walkman to retro tunes as he picks our pockets for popcorn money. All thanks to the Spirit In The Sky.

7.5 Big Blue Wrinkled Chins out of 10 (GOOD)

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (PG-13) Review

"A-Head of the Class"

The Marvel Studios again outshine their Comic Book film brethren by churning out an astonishingly entertaining and action packed movie starring one of its squarest Super Heroes, Captain America.   Not only must Cap and his SHIELD cohorts once again battle the corruptive forces of Hydra but also their own shadowy pasts in this much improved sequel.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is already overflowing with success, an achievement all the more impressive in that it is still arguably without its most famous licenses (rival Studios all hold the reigns for Fantastic Four, Spider-Man and the X-Men).  Yet, here is Captain America, well-known and respected Nazi-Smasher from the 40's succeeding beyond all reasonable expectations in our here and now (both on and off the screen).  A man who wears a big capital "A" in the middle of his forehead as a fashion statement has no business being accepted in today's fickle pop culture.  But here is the Big Blue Bomber, with his creaky old stoicism and unfashionable patriotism, embraced as a genuine Box Office Blockbuster and the true American hero he's always been.  Epic explosions, spy movie tropes, hand to hand combat combine with non-stereotypical Ethnic characters and a compassionate touch on PTSD and the brotherhood of soldiers, this is one amazingly accessible, yet progressive American film.

Disappointing as it is to lose the original source's Cold War era Russia origins or to saddle Cap with an overpowered Black Widow (who is apparently the only female willing to cross franchise lines to add unnecessary sex appeal to any Male driven MarvelU film), if the constant fighting and shield flinging all kind of look the same by the end of its 2+ hours, if the politics are very conveniently pro-Snowden/post-Anon when the past entries were all pro-PatriotAct/post-911, well we can still all sigh a big sigh of relief that Disney hasn't muddled the waters and have let Marvel do what Marvel does best.  Envelop into their stories a tapestry of current events while a multitude of different writers preserve its diverse history and mythology. Oh, and give Stan Lee a line or two in every film.  Excelsior!

8 Unexplained Big Red Stars out of 10 (GREAT)

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Thor: The Dark World (PG-13) - Review

"Star Wars with Hammers"

The Marvel Universe attempts to shave off some of the Fantasy Sci/Fi craze, and somewhat succeeds, in the newest solo outing of the God of Thunder after his stint in the blockbuster Avengers.  More inner-family strife rocks the royal family of Asgard as an old threat of Space Elves with a weapon from another dimension of cliche.  Unlike the other franchises, Marvel has steeped the Thor films in romantic interest, pushing Chris Hemsworth loves Natalie Portman on the audience when really all anyone wants to see is more Tom Hiddleston as halfbrother Loki (this time sans horny helmet but still able to steal scenes like nobodies business).  The Space Elves come straight from a bad hellboy sequel, their weapon is true doomsday cheese, the Star Wars like vehicles and lazer fights,  the awkward romance and wacky sidekicks tacked on for female audiences, it all still adds up to a better film that builds upon the mediocrity of the first while retaining what worked (Heimdall, Hopkins and a general Shakespearean air)  and churns up some grade "A" spectacle that with the proper blinders can be enjoyed like a more meatheaded step by Marvel towards a LOTR sized market and Box Office Share.

6 By The Beards of Odin out of 10 (GOOD)

Iron Man 3 (2013)

Iron Man 3 (PG-13) - Review

"A literal Iron deficiency."

It's Christmas, and an eccentric former playboy genius in an armored suit of his own design faces not only his growing anxiety about superherodom but also a technocrat rival and a terrorist mastermind that threatens both the American way and his relationship with his often in peril former secretary turned love interest in the newest pre-summer blockbuster from the (film)House of M.

The third entry into the franchise finds the writers and director grasping for lightning but only finding fiber optics.  The plot is light on the technical detail and precision (which was a driving force in the original) yet is now so heavy on coincidence that if you stop and consider certain inane plot points you'll have a hard time swallowing.  Add to that the obviously outsourced and downgraded CGI and unwise recycled plot devices (super heroes without the means to be super is about as original in comic movies as vigilantes who take off their masks for their stars sake) make for a shifty foundation buttressed by the high class and entertaining performances of the leads.

Iron Man's Tony Stark is Robert Downey Jr., and he continues to shine in the role as the likeable cool nerd industrialist.  The new villains are improved over #2, Aldrich Killian (played with sinister geek grease by Guy Pearce (LA Confidential)) and the Mandarin (a surprising as always Ben Kingsly (Ghandi) who makes the role his own).  The film writers are trying too hard to find Pepper Pots (Gwenyth Paltrow) something more exciting to do each movie (beyond bitch/moan/or scream out someones name), and Jon Faverau's pudgy Happy Hogan makes another small alliteration filled appearance.  Don Cheadle (Boogie Nights) as Lt. Rhodes is barely used and must be accepted for the role they are all given, which is a backseat in Tony Stark's newest luxury class automobile.

While entertaining, the movie is light years behind the original that launched the modern Marvel film universe.  If this is the last iteration of Iron Man (or even Downey's pitch perfect portrayal), then we are left with a stiffly robotic finale whose manufactured and plastic nature gives it a rusty stodginess   that we wish could have been ironed out first.  The film does still have a warm camaraderie center that can be enjoyed and bright explosions to ooh and ahh at, making IM3 a dependable distraction, just don't expect to find any real innovation.

5.5 Giant Bunny Rabbits out of 10 (MEDIOCRE)

Marvel's The Avengers (2012)

Marvel's The Avengers (PG-13)

"Whedon out the Chaff"

 A group of disparate heroes, brought together for the first time by an American secret spy agency, take on cataclysmic cosmic forces that threaten the Earth and all us little people. This is, after years of hard planning and work, a cinematic Marvel Universe in all its glory, a living breathing superworld where all the separate continuities are inseparably meshed. And just as Stan Lee discovered mega popularity back in the 1960s when he first assembled his superhero sandbox, Paramount and Disney today are reaping the profits of mashing together all its possible franchises under one roof, done with commendable skill by cowriter/director Joss Whedon.

Watching Thor, Ironman, Hulk and the defrosted Captain America take on Loki and his extraterrestrial cosmic forces, you can easily understand how these characters and franchises have survived so long as our new worldwide mythological figures... Captain America Steve Rogers gives order to the NYPD, Ironman Tony Stark titters around a mouthful of expensive scotch, Thor stands around in armor with his magic mallet while the Hulk curmudgeonly smashes some spacecentipedes to death. It is in fact the Hulk who really shines bright (previous movies all got the mix of pathos, stupidity and misunderstood loner all wrong), but they all get varying degrees of awesome moments even when they are fighting each other (a very comic book touch) Loki's petulant villainy was again a highlight, and Johansson's Black Widow honestly surprised me into not disliking her. Whedon obviously knows these characters backwards and forwards, and knows how to get them in and out of amusing/exciting crowd pleasing situations. Well, you say, sounds like a perfect popcorn flick for all audience, so what could possibly be wrong?

Well it kind of is a perfect popcorn movie, but when the first half of your movie is this confusingly boring my inner film critic has to stand up and shout "Spoon!". It takes FOREVER to introduce all of these characters that need no introduction (they are popculture icons who have had their own separate individual films guys), but how it goes about doing it in this roundabout way was just baffling. In particular the opening of the movie JUST HAPPENS and leaves you to watch "stuff occur" for a half hour without any regard to whether your give a hoot... which I'm guessing most of us don't. Its a good thing it plods through and starts ramping up for the second half invasion which is strong enough to balance the first out. But even there, the aliens show up in all their mediocre "random video game opponent" glory (much like Battle LA or Cowboys vs Aliens counterparts). Even giant flying Whale-centipedes couldn't save it from looking like just another CGfest of creatures destroy New Yorkathon. Don't even get me started on the finale, if your going to rip an ending off you probably shouldn't do so from The Phantom Menace. Some of the character motivations are a bit suspect, there are quite a few moments of "but wait why would she... oh never mind, MORE EXPLOSIONS!". Also, its probably just me, but I could have used less closeups of Downey's giant head on screen. I think the biggest thorn in its side for me is fundamentally the Avengers and the Marvel Universe have had so many insane and downright genre changing yarns made over the years that Whedon's feels a bit too conservative and small (I imagine alot of people won't feel this way however), and narrative wise it seems like its trying too hard to keep all the characters on screen every 5 minutes which really hurts the pacing of some of the scenes. But did Whedon and Marvel succeed? Yes. But just imagine if they had featured Thanos (I KNEW IT!) as the actual final showdown, fighting half a universe away on the Battleplanet with M'Krann crystals stolen by the Xmen and Spiderman swinging from the Fantasticar being pursued by Fing Fang Foom and you'll have some idea of what the typical Marvel Crossover event is like, and what this movie only scratches the surface of.

Because this is a comic book movie with comic book characters doing comic book heroics, one of the purest yet attempted. Unfortunately, it just didn't end up much of a page turner, even though some panels were right on the money. With this group of characters it was destined to be a damn good read, but when I think of what it could have been... I'll probably just hand it down to my brother instead of bagging & boarding it, I know he'll get a giant green kick out of it.

7 Excelsiors out of 10 (GOOD)