The Conjuring (2013)

The Conjuring (R)

"Paging Captain Howdy"

Sad catch-all Horror film (highest grossing all time by the way) that wants so badly to be the next Exorcist/Poltergiest/Amytiville Horror that it steals wholesale from them and brings in the kids too young to know better by the droves.  Best when the effects stay practical, the Conjuring conjures nothing but familiarity (the story is so predictable that you'll be anticipating a swerve that doesn't happen, the only curve ball is nothing gets CONJURED), has an evil doll that contributes nothing but a spinoff prequel/sequels, and agnosticaly approves of the Salem Witch trials!  The scares are effective but since they are skin grafts from better movies (the turn off the lights and listen trick, the look behind you NOW ITS IN FRONT trick, the oh aren't old dolls creepy trick, etc), Conjuring does a disservice to the Horror genre by regurgitating effective scenes like Linda Blair on a ipeccac diet instead of coming up with it's own unique moments.  Invention in the face of critical antagonism is what elevated the horror movie from it's low 1980s VHS slasher status to it's pop-culture accepted one, yet The Conjuring may have you wishing for the bad old days of dusty Hollywood Video shelves filled with direct to video cheapies that might not have a budget but at least ONE original idea.

4 James Wan's Conjuring even steals from James Wan's Insidious out of 10 (BAD)