Troll 2 (1990)

Troll 2 (R) - Review

"Vegan voodoo doodoo"

Fake sequel to the 1986 Cult Classic, Troll 2 finds a different family vacationing to the town of Nilbog, a farming community where good health abounds.  Upon arrival they are soon beset by vegan Goblins (the Trolls of the renamed title), witches turning their children into vegetable mush and a vast conspiracy of the towns folk.  A bewildering plot written by the Italian director and his vegan wife, acted by local nonactors and often proclaimed the "Worst Film Ever Made", Troll 2 has so bad its good tattooed on its forehead in neon green.  If it's nonsensical plot and vegetable propaganda don't get you, the unique dialog and acting styles will.  The actors make lemonade out of a lemon, and what a huge lemon it is.  Horrible costumes and make up FX, terrible lines and VHS quality video all captained by an irate Italian director who insists the film is a success despite all evidence to the contrary (even his studio named it after the 86 version just to try and attempt ti up viewership).

Laughing during viewing, usually at and not with, makes it all worthwhile.

2 Ghost Grandpas out of 10 (AWFUL)

Frankenhooker (1990)

Frankenhooker (R) - Review

"It's Alive!  And only costs $20 an hour!"

Frank Henenlotter, director of cult fave BasketCase, decides to put his unique spin on the Frankenstein legend.  A closet mad scientist decides to bring his fiance back from the dead using the dismembered parts of beautiful NY hookers, and is taken completely by surprise when his creation runs amok on the city and its Johns that can't refuse her guttural mantra, "Wanna Date?".  Henenlotter does what he does best, taking a freaky taboo subject and twisting it into something both entertaining and yet even freakier at the same time.

Silly, gory and fun, Frankenhooker had developed quite a reputation when it was released, but she is at heart a working girl with visible scars with a little ahead-of-it's-time GRRL power thrown in for good measure.  Just don't forget to tip.

7 Exploding Pimps out of 10 (GOOD)