Robocop (2014)

Robocop (PG-13) - Review

"Go Robo!  (And Don't Come Back)"

A police officer wounded in the line of duty is given a second chance at his would-be killers when a large corporation cybernetically resurrects him for their own ends in this room-temperatured remake of Paul Verhoeven's 1986 cyber-grind classic.

Robocop has been drearily updated for our extremely near future, a world of faddy touchscreens and hand swiping stolen directly from our current News Cycle along with  glowing cell phones, politically motivated  News Hosts and gerrymandering Big Business. Basically the film didn't look so much to the possible future as to last years headlines, leaving us with a future so bereft of SciFi ideas and ideals that it speaks volumes to the design and creation of this film.  The script is so shallow in scope that it predetermines nothing not already discussed on yesteryear's internet message boards.

There is a little that works.  A dig at Asia's near-monopoly/slavetrade of techjobs works with depth while remaining understated; no one in the film bats an eye that Murphy must be sent to the China to be constructed into Robocop just like a new iteration of an iPhone, a fun and interesting departure from the original's Detroit-centric motorcity-construction.   Micheal Keaton's OCP CEO runs his corporation more like a driven inventor "take no prisoners" type like Apple's Steve Jobs, surrounded by market research and yes men (very unlike the self-cannibalizing piranahs from the original).  Yet Robocop's remaining husk of a great story has been stripped of its grand linking components in the name of change just for change's sake.

Nearly everything has been shifted from the hard hitting original, most likely in the great law of the remake, the requirement to separate oneself  from the source material.  Somehow Detroit is said to be a crime-ridden slum yet all we see are sunny clean streets and expensive suburbs bereft of crime.  Emphasis has gone away from stellar action, shocking gore, black comedy and likeable characters of all creeds.  This new film instead focuses on teary eyed family issues, puts a stungun in its hero's hand in the name of  a PG13 rating, provides its gore shocks only from amputees and body horror, provides zero humor or characterization to its players, and its political messages are overlong and simplistic in its views of both America and its Corporations.

While Verhoeven's original 80's film could never be praised for its subtlety it never the less operates like a well oiled machine in comparison to the remake's clunky machinations. While one deftly lampooned both the mass media and the political/Capitalistic society of it's decade (while still maintaining entertainment value for all audiences), this new film can only ruin its own action by holding onto straight faced stoicism while spoiling any valid political criticism it has generated by allowing Sam "My Own Cliche" Jackson to basically scream into the camera "THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT MOTHER F*BLEEP*ING OBAMA'S DRONES" just in case anyone in the audience had missed the filmmakers big point (we got it, thanks).  And how can a title that features the words ROBO and COP end up so drearily boring?  When you focus on the ROBO and not the COP, thats when.

4.5 Why Did They Leave The Hand? out of 10 (BAD)