Muppets Most Wanted (2014)

Muppets Most Wanted (PG)

"Beat A Dead Felt Horse"

Coming off the highs of 2011 surprise hit Muppets (even winning an Oscar for best Song), Disney fumbles the dingy felt ball in this cash grab without a heart. Unable to get Jason Seagal to return as star or writer, Disney and Co. instead decide to recycle the plot from older Muppet films (even plot points from the previous film by replacing key Muppet members with imposters), adding a huge dash of anti-Russian stereotypes with terrible European accents, bigger and less tuneful dance numbers without the meaningful camaraderie and improv that improved so many mediocre Muppet films leaves Most Wanted in the Least Wanted Sequel pile.

Filled with modern stars (though mostly of the b or tv famous variety), the plot is a caper through Europe that does have quite a lot of nostalgia for the old Muppet TV show.  However most of those original performers have moved on and it hurts, and the entire production reeks of Suit interference and barrel scraping for the benefit of money.  MMW is an empty sockpuppet without a fuzzy heart beat to really bring it to life.  It's a soulless cashgrab of capitalism, a death-of-brand trap that Henson's workshop (with all it's success and failures) at least never stepped paw into.

4 Even Gonzo And Rizzo Were Cut Out out of 10 (BAD)