Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

Star Trek Into Darkness (PG-13)

Kirk and company, who now are adventuring (ripping off) their own adventures, find themselves face to face with a familiar old foe:  Bad Screenwriting in  JJ Abrams sophomoric sequel to the reboot of a classic franchise.

All the stars return to their roles, and the new bad guy is the new-hot-thing Benedict Cumberbatch filling the role once played by Ricardo Montebon, the genetically superior and evil Khan.  Now, this isn't Khan any more than Quinto is Spock, but the unfortunate casting can easily be misconstrued as whitewashing if it wasn't for Cho (a Korean) who is still playing Sulu (who is Japanese).  No, it's just Hollywood filling roles with the "most famous one we can get," and even though Pine is actually a great choice for Kirk he still suffers from the Boy Band quality of the cast.  Benedict himself was lauded for his performance, which is baffling considering the mans strangely flared nostrils and glossy emo hair.  But the casting really isn't what is wrong with Star Trek Into Darkness.

It's that it isn't Star Trek.  The post 9-11, drone-scared fearmongering warlords are strong with this one.  If someone had shown me clips and told me it was a film of the video game Halo it would have been believable.  What isn't believable is the exploitation of the best Trek film, ST2: Wrath of Khan, to fuel this mishmash of a hot garbage bonfire.  It's all twisted beyond reproach to entertain an audience who apparently doesn't know that adding some lens flares, parkour and pew pew lasers doesn't make a franchise better.  And the old switcheroo that happens at the end, with its prolonged prerequisite internet famous"KHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAN" yell that almost rivals Darth Vaders "NOOOOOOOOOOoooo" in laugh generation, is all null and void thanks to the amazing miracle jelly that was injected into Shatner's toupee a reel back for some damn reason, damnit Jim I'm a Doctor not a Script-Doctor!  Having reasonably enjoyed the first installment despite it's glaring flaws did not give permission to go hog wild with the canon JJ (despite what the suits and yes men and George Lucas' neck's told you).

These are the people in charge of SciFi films for decades to come, making these descisions, making more sequels and starting new franchises (and dabbling in other venerated ones).  Spock's Brain wept.

2 Spock Punching a Guy?! Where's the Vulcan Nerve Pinch, DUH!?!?  out of 10 (AWFUL)