Pain and Gain (2013)

Pain and Gain (R) - Review

"Goof Fellas"

The real life story of a Florida based gang of weightlifters who operated under the nose of law enforcement for years is skewed by Director Micheal Bay (The Rock), who lies through his teeth to make an entertaining and offbeat Miami-mafia film starring Mark Wahlberg (Boogie Nights) and Dwayne "Also The Rock" Johnson as the meat headed bungling burglers who prey on victims (a shvitzing Tony Shalhoub) who the police probably wouldn't believe.  The actual case files are rife with hard to believe moments, but by telling this story from the gang's perspective, no matter how amped up & exaggerated their antics or how Hollywood-abbreviated their convoluted crimes, it becomes a smack in the face of their real life victims and is the bitterest pill to swallow in Pain and Gain.  Shalhoub's victim is portrayed as such an terribly unlikable kvetch and braggart that the gang almost seems justified in robbing and then attempting to kill him, a kind of dayglo white-washing of the facts in the name of character motivation that doesn't sit well in the light of day.

This is especially true when scenarios are made up or evidence is distorted just for the sake of a chuckle (the supposed "true story" aspect of the film is reiterated over and over again during its runtime and yet whole plot points such as the severed toe are completely fictional).  Luckily Ed Harris' (also also from The Rock) private dick character is there to calm the flames of exploitation and over acting with his aura of Hawaiian shirt fedora excellence.

While Scorsese let us into and be entertained by Henry Hill's amoral gang he never let us forget, cinematically, that these were seriously dangerous men whom the lead character lived in constant fear of. In Pain and Gain (which owes much of its structure to that mafia film) the crew is so inept and goofy from the juice that they almost come off as absolved of their sins, like a 6 year old who broke a vase and can only smile and shrug to everyone's delight. The Coen's great film Fargo also used the "Based on a True Story," gag but was so evenly paced that it didn't detract.  Pain and Gain doesn't even give itself that wiggle room as it is so over the top while loudly calling itself true (it's massive fingers crossed behind its back).  Oh, but wasn't it a crazy ride and a laugh in the end so let's gloss over real facts like the gangs actual sinister ingenuity, their subsequent trials and death sentences and concentrate on how funny a coked out dumdum Rock is when he's stressing out Marky Mark again.

The film itself?  Humorous chitter chatter between the dismemberments and the vain posturing for the camera work well.  It looks like a standard Bay action flick, all gorgeous sunshine and sunglasses. The acting is good, the comradery apparent, the film entertains on the surface while underneath boils a riptide of bad intentions that if they had been ironed out would have resulted in a damn good film and instead allow it all to be sucked under.  For Bay the film may Gain but The Pain is reserved for everyone else.

5.5 Sleeveless Spandex Tees out of 10 (MEDIOCRE)