The Wolverine (2013)

The Wolverine (PG-13) - Review

"Down boy, Down!  Heel!"

The Wolverine of the comics is a lovably gruff anti-hero, one of the first and longest lasting (cuz he's the best at what he does).  The Wolverine of the movies is a lovably gruff hero, and that sanitization of the characters "anti" is where the fun bleeds out.  Based upon the Frank Miller miniseries that first bore his name, The Wolverine mostly takes place in stylish Japan, with the Hairy One being down in the dumps and then becoming enmeshed in a family dispute over succession of business and honor, all the while wearing as few shirts as possible and protecting a lovely Japanese princess, er, I mean daughter, from her blood thirsty family and showing how big your arm veins can get.
Unfortunately Japan is just a set piece for played out and too frantic action sequences that get sliced in every 15 minutes or so.  The fact that Logan's healing factor has been neutralized only leads to a scene whose only shock factor is how blatantly they rip off Prometheus.  The rest, with silly robotic Samurai and ninja's whose only mystery is their motivation, the bad guy attempts to remove Wolvie's claws for some reason and the Yakuza mindlessly get themselves killed, it is all just thrown at us in a hope that something will please us more than Wolverine Origins (hint, anything would have to be).  There are a lot of Wolverine comic stories and themes to choose from (Weapon X would have also been a good choice);  this particular one should have been about being an outsider (specifically a "gaijin") in another country, falling in love with culture and its nuances (and ladies), and being a hairy man with kick ass claws in 1970s Japan.  Instead we get the same old slice to Hugh Jackman's face that slowly heals sans blood and Adamantium "sharpest/hardest on Earth" claws that a sword can parry that just happens to take place in Japan this time.  This isn't the Canuckle Head's best outing, but then again a LOT of his comic stories aren't great either, he's a hard character to get right and not be silly.  At least this time around it was bonafide story about Wolverine, even if he was having quite a bad hair day.

5.5 SNICKTs out of 10 (MEDICORE)