Evil Dead (2013)

Evil Dead (R) - Review

"JOIN US... (but why?)"

5 young people are trapped in a rural cabin, an evil book has unleashed demonic forces which possess them one by one, leading to dismemberment and torture as the evil spreads.  The reformulated plot from the cult classic  The Evil Dead (1981) ends up less than the sum of its hacked off parts.  It's major failings are actually the well known cliches and conventions of the modern horror film that were so easily lampooned in last years "Cabin In The Woods" that the industry and its fans lauded and yet turned have apparently turned a blind ear to.

While maintaining a heavy torrential downpour of gore and menace, the film completely misses the point of the mindless black hearted fun the original had.  Instead of a group of horny kids drinking and carousing in the woods, here the very serious youths are sexless red herrings staging an intervention for their junky female friend (and sister), which I'm sure we all can relate too (right?).  So many horror movies have borrowed from the original Evil Dead over the years that when it comes back around now we are left with is a copy of a copy of a copy, suffering terrible generational loss as the standard hohum scares of  modern day hollywood flicks such as in "Insidious" are shunted in to take the place of the fresh energy of low budget invention that was present in the original.

What isn't new was done better in the original (or wisely unconceived).  The build up to the cabin, the admittedly small bits of characater development, the insanely manic zeal of cast and crew is isntead replaced with an unnecessary and dumb preamble, unwise half-stitched-on heroin subplot, unlikeable characters and professional visuals so muddy and dark and with a narrow depth of field that the special make up effects are often hard to see.  The only thing that could have been modernized but wasn't is the sadistic level of violence against women.  Even though they tried to take the sting off of it by swapping the gender role of "hero" of the film from Ash to the junky Mia, even that is a copy of other failed remakes (i.e. Night of the Living Dead 1990).  The script alone has more egregious errors when compared to the first (which wasn't Shakespeare to begin with), with some baffling and truly embarrassing dialogue (science book?).

When the best bit of acting is a one-liner cameo by Bruce Campbell emoting "GROOVY." after the credits end (which is itself a not a reference or an homage but a straight up LIFT from a better movie), you have a film that is anything but.  You can't just throw gore at the problems and expect it to improve, you gotta "Hail to the King" when you clutch the bloody coattails of your betters..

4 Oldsmobile Deltas out of 10 (BAD)