Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

Resident Evil: Retribution (R)

"Insane in the Membrane"

Basically rip off every sci-fi franchise ever ala Cabin in the Woods (except without the nod and wink to take the stink off of it), do it every 5 minutes for an hour and a half, have the entire cast be bad acting Eurotrash (sorry fellow RE2&4 lovers, but Leon Kennedy is played by a total douche), bring back half the dead characters from the previous 4 movies, SL O MO EVERYTHING, throw 3D crap at the screen like its going out of business, catsuits! catsuits! catsuits!, have some crazy video game like dubstep song play throughout, go bug-nuts insane with level design and out of control with the energy and plot and enemies, and you have a so-bad its-good-to-laugh-at kind of movie. With this much action, its a long hour and a half, but you sure do get your moneys worth, this movie has more stuff in it than a two bit Mexican flea market. STUFFed with stuff. Too much stuff honestly, but hell if it doesn't work... watching it is so disjointed yet slick, it's like a nightmare a French surrealist had back in the 1890's but upon waking he thought better of trying to write it down due to lack of comprehension. Or perhaps one of those bargain bin games at Gamestop where the scope of the title outgrew the programmers skill to frame but they released it as is, swollen and bloated and yet playable, a spoiled brat of a game that cheats and does everything with reckless abandon but with the ignorant smirking bravado that you just can't help but admire and wonder "How does he get away with that?".

5 Moscow Spinner Hubcaps out of 10 (MEDIOCRE)