The 13th Warrior (1999)

The 13th Warrior (R)

"PEU-Wulf"

A grim retelling of Beowulf by the director of Die Hard, what could go wrong?  Welllll...

Based on Micheal.Crichton's book "Eaters of the Dead," the tale of a Musilm stranger in Nordic lands that are besieged by a horrific race of monsters has some meat to it.  John McTeirnan does an admirable job with the acting but due to negative audience test screenings the film was taken away and a new ending shot by Crichton himself and blandly retitled and released a year later.  The result is a movie without a clear sense of direction made from a book that did.  Is it a "realistic" take on Beowulf or is it a Hollywood blockbuster star maker?  Considering the size of the box office loss (especially considering all those expensive re-shoots and edits and an entire new composer and score to try and twist the interest for a more Americanized taste), it set back the careers of all involved.  There are some cult fans screaming for the original director's cut to arise from Disney's vaults, but the reality is that the action is muddled, the message is unclear, and despite some good scenes and ideas you just can't fight those monstrous suits pulling the strings behind the scenes.

3 Vikings who apparently use Clorox on their Whites out of 10 (BAD)