Yellowbeard (PG)
"Like father like son"
An infamous pirate is alowed to escape jail (where he has been serving for tax evasion) by the British Navy, who hopes to follow him to his legendary buried treasure. It all goes wrong, the map is lost and his crew mutinies. His unloved son has the map tattooed into his scalp however, leading to a race to an island populated with Spanish zealots and scurvy privateers for the love of booty in this farcical romp set on the high seas that often falls overboard on its own slippery deck.
Conceived by Python's Graham Chapman as a star vehicle for friend and cowriter Keith Moon (former madman/drummer for The Who may he RIP), it was instead stuck in development hell for years and reluctantly finished after much rejiggering. The result is a mess of comedic proportions, with a script that can't focus on what works and a picture that focuses on what doesn't. The amazing cast makes it watchable however, with the likes of Peter Boyle, Cheech and Chong, Mary Feldman, and Madeline Khan all treading water for dear life. It is likewise a companion piece to Erik The Viking as an almost Python reunion with roles for Eric Idle, John Cleese and Graham Chapman's last best role as Yellowbeard himself, a funny, foulmouthed sailor that satirizes the squeaky clean image of piracy prevalent in Hollywood's golden years. Unfortunately, Graham's hysterically over the top performance is downplayed and trimmed, with many other jokes left flat by likewise bad editing and poor production values. Uneven and listing, Yellowbeard has a few belly laughs to enjoy, but more gut punches to endure from "studio interference".
4.5 Should Have Hired Mel Brooks to Direct out of 10 (BAD)
Showing posts with label 1983. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1983. Show all posts
Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)
Twilight Zone: The Movie (PG)
"You want to see something that is sometimes scary?"
An anthology of suspense stories presented by some of the 80s best directors as an homage to the late great Rod Serling's television show is dragged down by an on set tragedy and subsequent bad press matched with several mediocre efforts that rewrote and shortened beloved TV versions of Twilight Zone episodes.
1st up is John Landis' (A Werewolf In London) piece that was untimely end of veteran actor Vic Morrow and child costars in a deadly onset helicopter accident and subsequently Landis' career as a director due to negligence. The segment isn't much anyway, especially with the pall of three deaths on its shoulders. An outdated man out of time story, a racist and anti-Semite somehow finds himself in Nazi occupied 1943 with the gestapo on his heels. Sad for all involved.
2nd is Steven Spielberg's (1942) retelling of a Zone episode that already didn't hold up very well by the 80s, Old people mysteriously grow young by kicking the can. Tedious and sappy nostalgia.
3rd up is the cartoonishly freakout retelling of a child with amazing powers done by Joe Dante (Gremlins). The child can make anything happen with a thought, and a child being raised on Looney Tunes and PBJ sammiches leads to a lethal combination. When a new visitor is brought into his influence, will her maternal instincts free the world of this menace or lock us all in his house of childish horrors. Genuinely creepy.
Lastly, remaking one of the TZs most famous episodes, George Miller (Mad Max) directs the story of a man with a fear of flying strapping in for the flight of his life as something out on the wing is sabotaging the plane and NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO HIM. John Lithgow has big shoes to fill as William "Jim T Kirk" Shatner played the role for television, but then John apparently has huge feet. Stupendous tension that does the original justice, and only segment that truly lives up to the film's title and love of the Zone. Great.
There is also a cameo in the Prologue and Epilogue with Dan Aykroyd as a driver obsessed with scares and Creedance music, but in the end is it worth all the effort? The movie is a sad reminder to leave well enough alone, and if it comes close to justifying its existence its overall failure and tragedy prove its downfall.
Overall Review: 5.5 Just how Sweaty can Lithgow get out of 10 (MEDIOCRE)
"You want to see something that is sometimes scary?"
An anthology of suspense stories presented by some of the 80s best directors as an homage to the late great Rod Serling's television show is dragged down by an on set tragedy and subsequent bad press matched with several mediocre efforts that rewrote and shortened beloved TV versions of Twilight Zone episodes.
1st up is John Landis' (A Werewolf In London) piece that was untimely end of veteran actor Vic Morrow and child costars in a deadly onset helicopter accident and subsequently Landis' career as a director due to negligence. The segment isn't much anyway, especially with the pall of three deaths on its shoulders. An outdated man out of time story, a racist and anti-Semite somehow finds himself in Nazi occupied 1943 with the gestapo on his heels. Sad for all involved.
2nd is Steven Spielberg's (1942) retelling of a Zone episode that already didn't hold up very well by the 80s, Old people mysteriously grow young by kicking the can. Tedious and sappy nostalgia.
3rd up is the cartoonishly freakout retelling of a child with amazing powers done by Joe Dante (Gremlins). The child can make anything happen with a thought, and a child being raised on Looney Tunes and PBJ sammiches leads to a lethal combination. When a new visitor is brought into his influence, will her maternal instincts free the world of this menace or lock us all in his house of childish horrors. Genuinely creepy.
Lastly, remaking one of the TZs most famous episodes, George Miller (Mad Max) directs the story of a man with a fear of flying strapping in for the flight of his life as something out on the wing is sabotaging the plane and NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO HIM. John Lithgow has big shoes to fill as William "Jim T Kirk" Shatner played the role for television, but then John apparently has huge feet. Stupendous tension that does the original justice, and only segment that truly lives up to the film's title and love of the Zone. Great.
There is also a cameo in the Prologue and Epilogue with Dan Aykroyd as a driver obsessed with scares and Creedance music, but in the end is it worth all the effort? The movie is a sad reminder to leave well enough alone, and if it comes close to justifying its existence its overall failure and tragedy prove its downfall.
Overall Review: 5.5 Just how Sweaty can Lithgow get out of 10 (MEDIOCRE)
The Deadly Spawn (1983)
The Deadly Spawn (R) - Review
"ET Spawn Home"
Independant Horror films have always been a haven for those who wish to break into the Film industry. George Romero with his Living Dead series, Sam Raimi and the Evil Dead, all began by creating midnight masterpieces to scare the tar out of audience, but more importantly take their money. The Deadly Spawn is a distant cousin of this process, a charming zero budgeted diamond in the rough overlooked for decades.
Meteors fall to earth containing the Deadly Spawn. They begin to devour the local residents, and the teenage kids must band together to survive, yadda yadda The Blob yadda yadda Little Shop. The appeal of this movie is not the horror movie tropes it fetishisticaly (and articulately) abides by, but in fact its the ones it eschews. The plot of the film is entirely unpredicatable and delightfully surprising at every turn. No one is safe from the toothy blind menace, not even a granny cooked vegetarian smorgasbord! The creatures themselves are amateurish yet authentic looking, their teeth supposedly handmade by a local dentist. As the little devils grow so does the bloody violence. Smart cliche-busting ideas, thick coats of elbow grease and amatuer zeal soak the entire production making it a highly enjoyable experience as you root for the cast and the crew. The ending screams "Hollywood, are you paying attention? I'm better than most of your huge budgeted snorefests, lets make sequels together!", a cry that fell on deaf ears (or were they chewed off?).
7 No Way Should It Be This Good out of 10 (GOOD)
"ET Spawn Home"
Independant Horror films have always been a haven for those who wish to break into the Film industry. George Romero with his Living Dead series, Sam Raimi and the Evil Dead, all began by creating midnight masterpieces to scare the tar out of audience, but more importantly take their money. The Deadly Spawn is a distant cousin of this process, a charming zero budgeted diamond in the rough overlooked for decades.
Meteors fall to earth containing the Deadly Spawn. They begin to devour the local residents, and the teenage kids must band together to survive, yadda yadda The Blob yadda yadda Little Shop. The appeal of this movie is not the horror movie tropes it fetishisticaly (and articulately) abides by, but in fact its the ones it eschews. The plot of the film is entirely unpredicatable and delightfully surprising at every turn. No one is safe from the toothy blind menace, not even a granny cooked vegetarian smorgasbord! The creatures themselves are amateurish yet authentic looking, their teeth supposedly handmade by a local dentist. As the little devils grow so does the bloody violence. Smart cliche-busting ideas, thick coats of elbow grease and amatuer zeal soak the entire production making it a highly enjoyable experience as you root for the cast and the crew. The ending screams "Hollywood, are you paying attention? I'm better than most of your huge budgeted snorefests, lets make sequels together!", a cry that fell on deaf ears (or were they chewed off?).
7 No Way Should It Be This Good out of 10 (GOOD)
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About Me
- Kevin Gasaway via HardDrawn
- Turlock, California, United States
- Media and Reviews by Kevin Gasaway